I had a brilliant idea today while chatting with my coworker. For all you triathletes/runners/athletic people with monster (and sexy) quads, don’t you hate buying pants? I mean you work really hard to get in shape, whittle down your waistline and build up those sexy legs. But apparently the fashion industry does not also hold these same ideals in high esteem. If you get something that fits your waist and hips, it’s like sausage casing on your thighs. And it’s not like you have jiggly thunder-thighs, so it ends up looking a little oversexed (i.e., spray-on and revealing). But if you buy pants that fit on your quads, it gaps at the waist and you get that awful look of bunching from your belt, or the gawdawful gap in the back where everyone can see your Underoos. Add additional insult on to injury if you’re petite like I am.
Seriously, buying pants is a major source of frustration for me. They just don’t make women’s clothing for athletic body types.* Well, correction, they do make clothing for athletic women…it’s called SPANDEX. But I can’t fucking wear that to every event in my life (though I’d love to). Seriously who would hire someone who showed up for a job interview in a suit made of spandex? Is that a whole new level of business casual?
What I really need are pants that fit everywhere normally like they’re supposed to, but have an extra space for the bulging of my lovely quads. You know there’s another type of apparel that does that…Pregnancy pants. You’ve all seen them. At first they look like jeans, but if you lift up the shirt, there’s a big pouch for the belly. OMG I need QUADS PREGNANCY PANTS!! They fit like normal pants, but I have an extra stretchy pouch for my quads. How brilliant is that?! Except one problem, how weird would that look?! I mean, I guess they have pants already like that. But that’s even worse than showing my Underoos.
* I won’t even begin to get into the fact that the fashion industry doesn’t even have the first clue about what a real woman’s body is like, but at least they make an effort there.