Ad-renaline
January 22, 2010

In my recent Ad-renaline post, I forgot to mention another overwhelmingly predominant ad this time of year.

Taxes, taxes, taxes
The average Joe’s fiscal year is up and it’s time to account to the government.  But the average Joe needs help with his taxes.  Enter the tax prep ads galore!  Even the federal government has ads for their e-filing service.  Everyone’s on the tax band wagon.  So, when I heard a rumor that this ad was floating around on the airwaves in my town, I was skeptical because I believe the company (and the ad) is based out of a much more ghetto-tastic town.  Until last night.

Ad-renaline
January 11, 2010

So, the holidays are over and there are two predominant ads floating around the airwaves lately.

Jewelry
These guys just don’t give up.  Take off the pressure to present overpriced necklaces, watches, rings, and the ever-present tennis bracelet under the misletoe (sidebar…who in the hell plays tennis in jewelry–Williams sisters aside–much less a bracelet covered in diamonds?!), and redirect that pressure to give her a heart shaped locket, charm bracelet, or (groan say it with me) that big deal diamond ring for that holiday that beats all other days of commercialism (and guys wallets) that’s filled with hearts, roses, cupids, and candy.  (Oh, but no lie, I love the day after when all the candy goes on sale.  Now that’s a holiday!)  My thoughts on it; if you love him/her, you tell or show them that all the time, not just one day of the year because the card companies and florists say you should.

Cruises
I never really thought about it before, but just after the start of the new year all of the cruiseliners start filling in the breaks of the new seasons of our favorite couch past time.  “Wow, look everyone’s having fun.  Ooh, I bet it’s warm where they are.  What?!  A giant slide…and putt putt?!”  Two things fuel this fun bombarding my snack break to the kitchen.  It’s not their peak season, so they need money (but hey that means it’s cheap for you), but it’s also when families might, even subconsciously, start thinking about their summer vacations.  So the bright spot is that you can go now while it may be cheap, but a summer cruise…not so sure about that one.

Ad-renaline
December 4, 2009

How do you fuel the holidays?  Through commercialism and advertisements.* Yes, it’s that time of year, when we’re bombarded by retailers hawking guilt and happiness rather than focusing on good will, family, and whatever-else-do-gooders-love.

Jewelry
As I flip through the radio stations in my car, every single station is currently on a jewelry commercial.  “Make her happy this season.”  “Give him the watch that shows him you care.”  “Every kiss begins with Kay.”  Nope sorry, I’m pretty sure there are other things you can do (that don’t cost money) that show him you care, and as my fabulous hairdresser put it, every kiss begins with you buying me dinner.  Also, why is there this enormous pressure to get engaged over the holidays?  Isn’t it already stressful enough to worry about buying someone a present and/or the fact that you’re single without having that thrown in your face every seven minutes during your favorite tv show or pop/rock/hip-hop/country/etc. station?

Lexus
I have decided I’m going to attack just one automobile manufacturer rather than the whole lot of them.  (Besides, our own local ones have enough problems of their own up in Detroit.)  Every year this overpriced Toyota starts showing sedans and SUVs with giant red bows on them.  The husband/wife/significant other makes the other look out the window to see such a display and they are so excited.  And for a moment we’re transported from reality.   Seriously?  Who here thinks they could 1. afford to buy a luxury car as a gift, 2. buy it without the significant other noticing the large chunk of money missing and/or credit check and/or change in insurance, 3. go through points 1 &2 and not get smacked, do some serious explaining, and then have to take it back the next day?  I mean really, I don’t have any friends or family who could feasibly do this.  And those who can do this kind of gift-giving, do you think they really watch South Park, The Office, or whatever else normal people watch on tv?

Perfume
Fortunately I haven’t come across too many of these commercials this year, yet.  But inevitably there are commercials featuring a strong rugged guy with a horse in the snow (Stetson) or  a woman in the loving arms of a man who is obviously entranced by her scent that you can almost smell it through your tv (Prince Matchabelli, Chanel, Estee Lauder, et al.).  Maybe the old school commercials have gone by the wayside to all the popstars peddling their own particular scent of fame and shamelessness (Britney, Paris Hilton, Mariah, 50 Cent, Tim McGraw, Michael Jordan to name a few).  Sorry popstars, whatever you smell like, I probably don’t want it.

So, for the next month we will suffer through these ad nauseam.  Stay tuned for more Ad-renaline posts where I question just what the hell is wrong with ad companies and the stations that air their commercials.

*Note – I prefer the British advert-iss-ment, as my reader zico01 would say, over the American adver-tize-ment.